Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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