plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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