so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
