sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize