And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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