I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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