I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
