Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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