Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
