Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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