I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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