you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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