she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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