i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
