you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
