I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
