my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Randomize
