1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
