Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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