The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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