either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
can u get pink eye on your cock?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
