Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
