A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
