Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
