Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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