apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
