I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
