he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
