I have demons in me.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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