I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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