remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
