Ketchup is God's man juice
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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