my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
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