we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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