If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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