OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
