Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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