you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Sorry my hands just texted you
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
