i permit you to call me
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Randomize
