ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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