At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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