I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
