quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
