God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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