I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
