i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
