So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize