We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
