She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
