No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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