The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
