i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
