ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
