he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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