I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
