At least make sure they are 18
Why
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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