I'm laying in your front yard are you home
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
