We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize