I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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