do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
I am spending my child support on dildos
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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