watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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