Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
