Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i would punch a child for taco bell
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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