After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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