can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
