There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Randomize
