Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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