Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
