i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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