he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
