yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize