dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I don't deserve a penis
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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