butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
What a dumb baby whore.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
