Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
