we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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