He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
