I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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