I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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